A client wrote in his weekly meditation

"What do I really want?" Up until recently the closest I got to answering that question was "not this!". I was so frustrated with my life because I didn't know what I wanted to do or be. I'm not 100% sure I know exactly what I do want right now, but just knowing that I want something different

I invited him to do a meditation over the next 7 days (description below) and he wrote this in his next weekly meditation:

I've been meditating on "what I want" for a while now and I thought I'd share some of the things I've been noticing...

Initially my want's were very much ego driven material things. Then I realized that I basically have pretty much all the material things I actually want already.

I then started to fantasize about the emotional security I imagined more money would provide, but then I realized that I'm about the same level of happy now even though I have a lot more money than a little while ago, so that seemed a bit redundant too.

Then I really started to get clear that I wanted to be "important", this to went in stages. Initially I wanted to be important to others (ego) then I realized that I really only want to feel proud and important to myself and not be tethered to what other's may or may not think. Leading me to once more come to the conclusion that I want to serve as many people as I can.

I noticed that this is all comes in a circle. The more value I provide to people, the more material things I'd be potentially able to have, the greater my sense self worth would be and the circle continues.

Another cycle I've gone through is this: I started with what I think I want, then;

what I think I should want, then;

what I want to want.

I started going deeper and deeper to where and why my desires are what they are. They certainly fluctuate from moment to moment and reflect my state of mind. When I feel stressed I want material things, when I feel truly grateful for something I want to give and serve more.

Part of this conversation evolved quite rapidly over the weekend. The result is that I'm going to make decisions based purely on whether I want to do something or not, regardless of money. I'm super excited to renegotiate my associateship with [BUSINESS PARTNER] knowing that I can simply walk away if I choose to!

My suspicion is that I'll be more productive and engaged in my daily activities without the financial pressure (that I put on myself) and I'm excited to see where this leads.

If his experience feels familiar, you can practice the same meditation: for the next 7 days, every day spend 1h focusing 100% of your attention on what you want. Put a timer on, and block all distractions. 

Note: the purpose of the exercise is not to find the answer to what you want, but to explore what happens / what comes up / how you feel / what doesn't come up / towards where you feel pulled / etc... when you focus your attention on what you want.

After 7 days, take 1h to notice what is different now that you have spent 7h focusing your attention on what you want.  

Keep unfolding, keep shining, 
Noam

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